Beer drones are here and they’re spectacular.

Well now we’re getting somewhere! I’ll be honest, even though drones have been hot in the streets for about a decade, I really haven’t had much use for them. I know they’re useful in the agriculture world, the military world, Amazon and Wal Mart have started experimenting with drones to deliver light-weight packages, you can use them to see what your neighbor is hiding in that shed, etc. Hell, my wife and I used to live next to a big park where people would set up drone obstacle courses and hold races on the weekend. I’ll let you guess what the gender ratio was at those events.

But for me personally? Just never saw a use. Until now! If I can train some kind of butler-drone to deliver me Busch Lattes while I’m comfortably losing bets in the ass-groove of my recliner?? YES! Suddenly a $500 drone seems worth it. Teach that thing to flip the burgers on the grill and push my Swiffer and we’re really cooking with gas.

Now I will admit, the idea of a bunch of beer drones flying around at a bar seems more fun in theory than it probably is in practice. My wife will tell you that I’m barely aware of my own space as it is now. Work in a couple of hazy IPA’s* and the thought of dodging beer drones when I’m trying to hit the head is a recipe for disaster. Between that and the drone’s balance probably not being perfect, my guess is the night ends in a net loss for whatever bar/establishment implements them. Luckily you’re not paying the drones an hourly wage (until they unionize) so maybe you make it up on the front end.

*People who know me reading that line:

PS: Could you imagine the army of beer drones replacing beer vendors at Am Fam Field or Lambeau?? Chaos! Just carpet bombing everyone with $15 Miller Lites.